Fights Are Dumb

So I haven't write for awhile. Normally I write to inform or just to vent. Well latley everything has been really good and amazing but right now I'm at work with Sierra and corlee and me and corlee just got in a bit of an argument. Well now she's giving me the silent treatment like its a punishment. I'm kinda just wondering what going through her mind since she's suppose to come to my house after work and spend the night hahaha this should be interesting. She's gonna have to be the one that cracks. :)

And It Goes On And On And On

Its Friday Friday got get me more Friday... Okay so its actually Saturday.

Id like to say things have been busy lately but they really haven't been. Last week went by super slow and this up and coming week only has two days in it thanks to thanks giving.

Well I guess I can recap the always unsettling thing in my mind.

Well first one is during the week me sierra and Corlee were making up a fake story of john in English. He thought it was funny and was laughing with us. It was purely a joke and that's all. Well as we were leaving he seemed to be really upset and actually started to cry about it. I felt so horrible. I emailed him later that night though and he said he was okay... I still feel bad.

Umm so Next

Me and Sierra are going to be entering a video contest here soon and I'm actually really excited for it. the grand prize is $1000. SO I'm really hopping we win. Its due in March so were filming a lot over winter break and Mr Allen is actually letting us have the cameras. I'm pumped. were able to submit 3 videos so today at work all we did was think of ideas and we've come up with some really good ideas. :)

Alright so I have a new desire and i just cant get it out of my head. In general, I want to got to Africa. So Ive decided that I'm going to go there after i graduate high school and teach kids English for awhile. hopefully that will get this huge lusting that i have for the whole idea out of my head.

Ugh everywhere i look someones in a relationship. Well it didn't use to bother me but now its really getting to me. I feel more alone then ever. My best friends both have boyfriends and all my guy friends have girlfriends. I'm all alone. It just entirely sucks.

Yepp I just need a break.

Thank god I'm getting one here soon.

Kill a bitch

Ya so if there was ever respect for Andrew my older brother I can most defiantly say I don't have it for him anymore. Me and Andrew haven't talked for a good year or so because he decided he was going to choose a girl over his family. Now that try broke up he's all about family. Well I want nothing to do with him. But to make Matters worst he asked my mom if I would be pissed if he started dating cassie. I wouldn't hate him for dating one of my friends but this bitch is NOT my froend she is my one and enemy. I dislike a lot of people but in reality I only hate one person and it's the bitch that Andrew wants to be with. So I dare him to try and be with her because I will make her life a living hell. That's not a threat. It's a promise.

New life is hard.

Okay so I knew this was going to be hard. I'm struggling a bit with is because it's hard to do the transition from one way of life to a completely diffrent one. Buy I really am trying. I am positive though that I am done with koda and all that crap. Now I'm trying to mend all the friendships I've messed up or haven't really paid much attention too. It's only a matter of time I guess before I can achieve this.

Art and such

Draw a little. Sew a little. Mess with video equipment. Sigh. I have so many different art projects going on right now that it's freaking ridiculous. For Christmas my mom and me are making quilts for the family which is cool and all but it's so freaking time consuming ugh. I'm just so ready to have them all done.

New Life; i hope

Ok so this needs to be quick because my computers about to die

I'm trying to adapt a new way of life.

sounds simple but it so isn't

for the last year or so Ive been trying to fix my life and make it better then what it use to be back when i was a sophomore. Well I achieved my goal and my life is by far at the best point its ever been. BUTTTT the problem with this is that the only way i could get it here was by dropping the bad from my life and ignoring the other bad things. well everything finds a way back in eventually. But I'm managing. anyway here's my whole new life thing:

So I want to live a life like I use to have. Minus all the drama and horrible out comes. I want the friends and the experiences back so that's what I'm striving for. When someone spends time thinking about themselves they stay in a box and nothing goes in and out but when someone spends time helping others there expanding there life's so they live new experiences. Plus Ive tested this whole thing of me in general being nicer and it makes me a whole lot happier. Wish me luck please.

Life Still Going On

Ya so I got my industrial and its raising hell. My dads throwing a fit while me and my mom just sit back watch and laugh. Yea its pretty great.

Oh my so hells been raised among my friends. Kodas fighting with corlee, corlees fighting with matt. I'm fighting with koda, I'm a bit upset at sierra, Matt and me and arguing a bit. buzbees mad at koda. and koda and Matt just in general don't care for each other. and knubs pissing me off.

Koda Vs. Corlee - Well Koda and Corlee are fighting because Kodas been treating us bad. We've been best friends with this kid since the beginning and now hes treating us like crap. Hes the country meet rock kind of kid and that's what we love about him. Now hes starting to get into sports in stuff which we think is cool and all but now that hes doing that hes hanging with other people and hes acting likes better then us. Hes almost acts like hes embarrassed by us.

Corlee Vs. Matt - ok so oh so long ago matt and corlee got in a fight where a lot of bat stuff was said and well matt said stuff to corlee about how corlees ex messed around with her best friend. and corlee said stuff to matt about how his dads and abusive drunk. so yea the fight was bad but in the long run things began to work out and it turned out to be ok. well i still believe that there still a bit mad about it because every time something happens between them its all brought up. well matt said stuff to corlee on twitter the other day and ever since they are bickering again.

Me Vs. Koda - Well in general its the same reason that Corlee and him are fighting. But mine has the additional thing that's Ive mentioned before. Hes treating me bad because I'm not hanging all over him like i use to when i liked him. He'll either get over it or be done with me all together because I'm done catering to his needs.

Me Vs. Sierra - I don't like being mad at sierra and I'm not. I'm just a bit disappointed i guess you could say. Sierra use to talk a lot behind my back and what not. Well i thought we were over that but i guess not. Corlee told me she was talking about me again. Go figure. It was over the dumbest thing too. See I got in trouble for having zac over and what not by my mom. I'm not allowed to have friends over for awhile. So sierra went and is pretty much calling me a lier and saying that I made it up because i don't want her and Matt at my house anymore. Ya Bullshit. If i don't want you at my house then you wont be at my house. End of Story.

Matt Vs. Me - I'm just mad at Matt because his damn insecurity's that involve Justin and sierra are starting to get on my nerves. Seriously just get over it because obviously sierra wants to be with you if shes dating you and not him.

Buzbee Vs. Koda - Stupidest fight in the world. Buzbee cant find his hoodie and hes positive koda has it. Koda swears he doesn't. DUMBEST FIGHT EVER

Matt Vs. Koda - So they both don't like each other. Koda doesn't like him because he thinks Matt's a player and fake. Actually everyone in the whole damn school thinks that. Matt doesn't like koda for reasons he wont tell me but I'm pretty positive its because hes worried that sierra likes him and that koda gets a hell of a lot more attention from girls then he does. They both hate each other and yet they act like best friends when there around each other.

Me Vs. Knub - ugh this kid is just annoying. Hes so needy and hes always making comments about stuff that piss me of. ugh

So Andrew and Charlotte broke up and what not. I guess now hes saying how he would love to be more involved with the family and what not which i think is funny. I'm not going to be all close to him and shit until he apologizes b.c frankly i have been blown off all my life by people who would rather be with there boyfriends or girlfriends and to have my own brother do that to me its like a slap in the face.

This and That

So in three days is fall break and i am so excited. I have to go to my dads Thursday and Friday but i'm home saturday Sunday and Monday. Just in time for Halloween. :) I still don't know what im going to be for Halloween but i'm thinking something along the lines of being a guy. I just might be able to do it too. I don't yet my costumes still in the process.

In other news (tehe) I'm on the search for a new guy. Koda and me are done like i said we would be and its the best thing possible for me. So now i gotta find someone amazing. Wish me luck, hell knows I'm gonna need it.

Did I Mention the Garage?

Well I finished it awhile back and all. I spend like every waking second in there with the gang. Oh the gang is something. were like your typical sitcom we have:

Sierra- The Brain.

Mariah- Party Animal

Corlee- Evil

Matt- Player

Buzbee- Innocent

Andrew- Gay Guy

Koda- Accident Prone

Yea we all play are parts in this whole thing. kinda makes me wonder about what they see me as... hmm

You need to be shot

I wish it was possible to reach into guys minds and see what there thinking about. I wish I could understand half the things they say and stop trying to turn it into a cryptic message. But no, for some reason humans were made so that they over think, over analyze and act on impulse. Or at least I was made this way for some god damn reason. Well this whole dispute thing is about how me and HIM have finally had are falling out. I've stop drooling over him and have opened my eyes i guess. Now that I no longer have my head up his ass hes beginning to treat me like crap. No joke, he never wants to hang out anymore, he acts like I'm nothing to him, and the only time hes nice is when he wants something from me. Go figure. I'm glad though that i finally opened my eyes and realized it all, I have a feeling i was starting to annoy all of my friends with all the HIM talk. I was starting to annoy myself too. I'm glad I'm on the right track again. :)