The beginning of the end.

For awhile now a lot of stuff has been thrown at me. I've been able to quite successfully dodge or take the challenges head on. I've been fighting for my right of life but here lately a switch inside me has turned off, I'm beginning to shut down. I don't think I keep up my fighting much more. A life that is devoted to trying to find the silver lining and enjoy itself is coming to an end. I'm forced to live a happy life with ever dawning stipulation of being forced to spend every other weekend with my dad. I've fought it a long time but my fighting is only making me sick. My fairy tales evil plot is taking over. Many might wonder what I'm going to do if I stop fighting. Well. I'm gonna go numb. Consider it like a coma. I'll endure it till im 18 and then hopefully ill get to take my walk back into sunlight. If only life were a bit more fair and less resolute. the realization of what I'm going to do makes me sad but when your told day in and day out that the feelings you have of hatred towards your father aren't real and that your over reacting, it begins to make you mad. Being mad wont solve your problems and I've come to the conclusion that I just need to give up. It's time to stop fighting. It's time to just endure it and hope you come out unscathed. It's the only thing I have left. It's my last stand. Im done.